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Passive Aggressive Behavior


We often hear people use the term “passive-aggressive.” But I don’t think everyone understands the concept. My favorite internet definition of passive aggressive is: “Number 1: Being marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination, pouting, and stubbornness). Or number 2: Pretending one does not give a rat’s posterior when, in fact, one gives numerous rat’s posteriors.

As you can see, there can be some confusion in discerning a true case of passive aggressiveness. So, I have rummaged through the internet to come up with several examples of this particular activity. Here are a few of my favorites:

I’m not saying I hate you, but I do often catch myself fantasizing about you, barefoot in a desert of legobricks, covered with honey and attacked by army ants, while being forced to listen to a Justin Bieber album over and over and over…

Your passive aggressive behavior is the same as lying. Actually, it’s worse, because at least a liar isn’t being a two-faced weasel about it.

I’m not saying go out and kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the labels and let the problem sort itself out.

I’m sorry I missed your passive aggressive post on Facebook. I was too busy winning at life.

Just for luck… I wish I’d saved a few pairs of your underwear, to seal in a jar and keep on a shelf high in the pantry. Is that the kind of thing that makes you miss me, or makes you glad it’s over?

I would like to say congratulations to Myra Lander and Rufus Cromley. They are expecting a baby. Hope you are both really in love and I hope it works out.  Rufus’ wife, Tanya Cromley…

“That was a very well laid out, rational point. But I’ll stick with my emotional opinion based on no facts or evidence.” Al Sharpton

I’m not anti-social. I just have a strong aversion to bullpucky, drama, and pretending.

I miss you like Tiger Woods misses shanky Las Vegas cocktail waitresses.

Don’t facebook your problems. Face them

To all those passive aggressive folks out there I would just like to say, never give up on your stupid, stupid dreams

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