BY MICHAEL REISIG –
I was talking with a friend the other day about timing and luck. I can attest that these two commodities hold far more sway over life than the average person gives them credit for. Sometimes as little as a few minutes, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time can be fortuitous or disastrous. I doubt there’s anyone reading this who can’t relate to that. My friend told a story that really nailed down these most unusual commodities. I thought I’d pass it on.
One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and something had to be done. So The Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at the gate and ask everyone how they died. If it was a unique enough story they told, they could go ahead into Heaven. But if not, they would have to wait at the gates.
The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what’s happening “Alright,” the man says. “Well, for a while I’d been suspecting my wife of cheating on me. So today I thought I’d leave work early and catch her. Sure enough, I got to my apartment and she was lying naked on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching for the man but couldn’t find him. Then I remembered that we lived on the tenth floor of an apartment building, and we have a balcony. And there was a man, hanging off my balcony. So, I beat at his hands until he fell into the bushes below. I saw he was still alive so I dragged the refrigerator over and pushed it off the edge on top of him. But the stress and strain of the effort gave me a heart attack, and I died.”
“Wow!” St. Peter said. “That really is unique! You can go ahead…”
The next man walked up and St. Peter gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story.
“Okay,” the second man said. “So I live on the 11th floor of an apartment building, and everyday I do exercises on my balcony. Well, today I fell over the edge, but luckily I caught the railing of the balcony below me. Suddenly, this man comes running out and starts beating at my hands. I held on as long as I could then I finally fell off, but luckily I landed in the bushes below and they saved my life. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for the man because he pushed his refrigerator over the edge and it landed on me and killed me. And now I’m here.”
“Wow, that’s a good one too!” St. Peter said. “You can go ahead…”
The third man walked up and St. Peter again gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story…
“Okay,” the third man said. “I don’t know what happened. I was hiding naked inside this refrigerator…”
I suppose the moral is: Sometimes you get what you deserve, regardless of how full heaven is.