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Wanting and Needing…


We live in a society that has made it difficult for the average person to be happy. We’re constantly being told that we should have more – every TV advertisement stresses it, our politicians promise it, and we’re constantly inundated by the lifestyles of the rich and famous, making just being content, a challenge.

But you can’t live in the hotel on the corner of bitter and restless for all your life, the rent is too high. You can’t live your life in a constant mode of “wanting and needing.”

Basically you have two choices: you can reduce your expectations and live within your mental means, or you can get up off your duff and chase your dreams. But living somewhere within the twilight of misery and desire is just not acceptable.

It’s the same with trying to find the person of your dreams – you have to be patient and persistent. You can’t let your hunger make you desperate, or allow you to settle. Part of the trick here, is actually knowing what you want, then finding someone who is close to that. And with all of this, whether it be satisfying your life goals or finding Mr. or Ms. Right, remember that we live in perilous and challenging times – if it looks too good to be true, it often is. The universe rarely gives you what you ask for, but it will always offer you what you’re willing to take.

There are two kinds of people in the world: the ones who hide from their shortcomings or use them as crutches, and those who challenge them. You can’t have what you want without breaking a few crutches. Only then can you find contentment, and never forget that there is a short span between wanting and regret, and that needing too badly is often the harbinger of misfortune. It’s wonderful to know what you want, but sometimes it’s safer in being certain what you don’t want. I’m reminded of the expression by the writer, Wayne Trotman: “Contentment comes from wanting what we need, not needing what we want.”

You have to keep some equanimity, some perspective to this wanting and needing thing. You have to remember that, at this very moment, whatever it is you so greatly desire, someone else already possesses, and that what you have today, someone else is yearning for with all their heart. Until you find a modicum of satisfaction with who you are and where you are, you’re constantly inflicting yourself with want – life is a constant pursuit of luxuries that become necessities, superfluous elements that somehow become indispensible – a constant game of musical chairs.

I’ll leave you with a quote by Anne Frank: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment to improve their world.”

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