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Mena Arkansas News covering Polk County and the surrounding area

Hogspore News:

‘Jeopardy!’ in 2044

By Clet Litter as told 

to Bob Simpson

Hope you had an enjoyable Labor Day. It’s a federal hollerday celerbrated on the first Monday in September to honor and recognize the American Labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers to the development and achievements of the United States. The three-day weekend is Labor Day Weekend, (Duh). It’s the unofficial end of summer. We know a thermometer in the barn will tell us when summer is over.

This comes right from Wikipedia. It’s the same source your child copied for his last school assignment. That’s why he got a D on the essay.

That’s all you get from me, cept you should see what Punkin bought from the sales this weekend. Every place in town with a cash register had a sale. We now have enough floral-patterned bedsheet sets that we might have to apply for flower nursery zoning for the farm. Even Larry’s Funeral Home and Assisted Living Facility had a special combo package. The first month’s rent is free for new residents and includes a nice send-off in the funeral home down the slope on the campus, just before the Garden of Fading Memories Cemetery. Larry’s the only one who calls it a campus. Before, the buildings were there, it used to be a landfill. I guess it still is, sorta. He dubbed the deal, “A Place for Mom, or Dad, or Auntie, or Uncle, or Granny, or Grandpappy, or anybody who can afford it.”

Preacher has a name for the beginning of the world what goes along with the Good Book. It combines the Big Bang Theory and the Genesis version. Preacher said, “The Big Man was in control of everything. I call it the Whole Shebang Theory. I also have an idea of why men love barbequed ribs. It’s cause Eve was once a rib.”

Mumford says, “If the TV game show, “Jeopardy!,” is still running in 2044, and an android is the host, here’s how it would sound, ‘I’ll take Woke History for 400.’

Androlex reads the board and says, ‘The answer is: The grand marshal of the 2042 Washington, D.C. Nancy Pelosi Annual Memorial Parade. Leslie, you were first with the buzzer. What is the correct question?’

Leslie replies, ‘Who is former president Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?’

‘You are correct!’”

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