My Pulse News

Mena Arkansas News covering Polk County and the surrounding area

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I Just Found Out What Woke Meant

By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson

I just found out what woke meant. I thought it was somebody who had insomnia and couldn’t sleep. It makes me wonder what else I don’t know.

Halloween is acoming. Seems like the teachers are calling in sick Tuesday cause the precious little trickers, treaters, and treatresses are gonna be hopped up on sugar or missing fillings from caramel candy apples. Some of the elementary school woke boys will be wearing fairy princess costumes, and a few elementary school woke girls will be fashioned out in lumberjack outfits and hefting Fisher Price Chain Saws.

Grandson Benny and his wife are spending a week with us before they go to a new duty station. Benny won’t tell me where it is. He says it’s Hush Hush. I’m guessing Hush Hush is one of those American air force bases in the Philippines, cities like Pantyson.

The Big Boy Restaurant is updating the outside of their building in the Town Rectangle. The Big Boy statue is smaller, and Big Boy’s girlfriend is now taller and leaner. She’s sporting a business suit, and at the bottom of her statue is a plaque saying, “Dolly, Big Boy Restaurant’s CEO.”

Quin’s Pet Store and Sporadic Wildlife has some rare critters. There is a Nicaraguan Skunk. It doesn’t smell, but the skunks are a part of the underground mammal resistance movement, still fighting the guvernment in the mountains. A religious monk is mixed with a Llama called the Dalai Llama.

The store also carries a pet food made in Ecuador. It’s called the Quito Diet.

Mumford Pickens says, “One out of every five doctors is stupid and immature. The four doctors call the other one a big stupid Poopy Head.”

Contact at You know you wanna.

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