Reflections From Faith and History: The Counsel of the Supper Table

by Jeff Olson

Thanksgiving and Christmas are not only special times of celebration, but they represent traditions which are part of our American and Christian heritage and they still serve as a tie that helps to bind us as a people. An important part of these celebrations is the time we spend around the dining table, enjoying wonderful food and one another.

My recollections and reflections of these times around the table also include family meal times throughout the year. The more I thought about this the more I recall just how much of a role this setting and environment played not only in my formative years but also those of our own children as well. What I share here will apply to both.

For our family, the time around the supper table was often more than just about eating a meal. This time together provided other benefits as well – benefits such as strengthening our family bonds, deepening of our relationships, and helping to ensure stability. Whenever there was a family issue, it was often at the supper table where it was discussed and sometimes solved. Whenever there was something joyous to share, it was often shared first at the supper table. Sure, not everything made it to the table (sometimes a good thing!) but those things requiring family support, prayer, communication and counsel often did. In addition, we tended to eat regularly and more balanced meals which kept us healthier and I believe happier. And, there were some days in our lives when the only prayer we participated in together was that at the family table? Of course, that’s not where prayer should begin nor end but it was often where prayer found its most consistent venue. As do other families, ours went through some tough times and I attribute much of our resilience and perseverance to this special time together which was anchored primarily in my mother’s insistence, faithfulness and priorities (and wonderful cooking!). My wife was no less diligent in continuing this family staple and with a full time job during most of our marriage. Of course, our family wasn’t always able to eat meals together every day of the week but we did as much as possible considering jobs, schedules and activities.

The supper table was also somewhat of a classroom. There, I learned how to engage in conversation and how to listen and be interested in what others had to say. I received guidance and example in manners, civility, and good habits which encouraged mutual respect. And, no matter how rough a day any of us had at work or at school, the supper table was usually a place where security and sanity could be recovered – a haven away from it all where we as a family could retreat for a short time. Statistics do indicate that children who dine with their family are healthier, happier and better students. And, I still remember that table as the home of various board and card games which provided not only fun but also lessons in competition, good sportsmanship and teamwork.

So, what’s to explain any decline of the family supper table? Do we find ourselves eating meals in front of the television? Do more of us eat out than ever before? Does social media pre-occupy us during meals and other family time? Does work or hobby inspire us to bring the dinner plate to the computer? With more mothers in the workforce and some of them (and fathers too) leading single parent households, it is very difficult to develop and maintain any consistency with family meals.

Is the family supper table a lost cause? Is it a dead institution? No, I don’t think so. Some research indicates that it might be making a comeback, and why shouldn’t it? There is no down side, but its future will depend to some extent upon the choices we make. We live in a culture so much defined by personal autonomy, individualism, and competing interests that we’ve too often allowed these to undermine our family life. In some instances, parents see their roles more as providers of material needs, wants and opportunities and less as nurturers, examples and teachers. Think about it: our homes are the first family, first school, first church, first society, first economy and first government that our children experience. Therefore, their vital early impression and future participation in these important institutions depend largely on our example as parents. Plus, it is the role of parents to pass on to their children the norms and values which serve to perpetuate family heritage, legacy, and traditions which are the building blocks for a culture and a preserver of civilization itself.

This all may seem a bit idealistic or utopian to become a reality, but it can probably occur at least to a greater degree than it does presently. So, why don’t we choose to prioritize certain days and times to sit down, put the cell phones away, and eat together as a family and at any meal time that can work best? It just may be that the counsel we need, and some other special moments we’ve missed out on, can be found or rediscovered around that table that’s covered up with bills and books and no telling what else. Shall we then resolve to give it a try in 2020? It’s an opportunity full of treasure and future memories, and one which will pass us by all too soon.

About Author

Jeri Pearson

Jeri is the News Director for Pulse Multi-Media and Editor of The Polk County Pulse. She has 10 years of experience in community focused journalism and has won multiple press association awards.

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