Big Doings at Merle Meeter’s Farm on Saturday
By Clet Litter from the Ozarks
April 15 is usually the final day to file income taxes for the past year. This year’s filing deadline is Monday, May 17. It’s about time us procrastinators had something to feel good about. The real reason for the new date is cause the guvernment counts on most folks to procrastinate and postpone filing till the end. That way it gives the Feds more time to find the refunds money. Maybe they can borrow it from the fellers at Nevada Al’s Friendly Paycheck Loan.
The Hot Air Balloon Dog Fight competition lifts off this Saturday morning in the fallow forty acres of Merle Meeter’s farm. Contestants light their burners at 6 AM for the planned start at 7:00 AM. The sponsor is Swanson’s Suburban Propane Gas. Each wicker gondola holds four 40-pound tanks of donated propane. Walter Surety from Life Insurance of the Upper Ozarks will be there at 4 AM to help the wives enroll their idiot balloon-loving husbands in a generous standard of living continuation widow’s benefit for the ladies and their children. There ain’t no rule that says a woman can’t participate in the danger, cept the rule of common sense.
Punkin’s birthday is today. I didn’t let on til now, so you wouldn’t go out and buy her a gift. I just give you the warning about Punkin since folks favor her a lot better than me, and sometimes she gets gifts from the readers. Mine is June 20, but don’t even send a birthday wish cause I know you really won’t mean it. I got friends and family, so I’ll be all right. Don’t you worry about me.
The Barber Shop Think Tank was reminiscing about Butterbean McCurdy, who died in 2001. It was an early winter. Butterbean was driving alone in the fog moving fast and taking chances, training for the Indy 500, when he come to a stopped school bus picking up little children. He swerved to miss those small students, lost control, and rolled bout 8 times.
Since Butterbean was a Hogspore citizen, we hold an annual memorial race in September to celerbrate him and raise money for the Muleberry County School Bus Maintenance Program. After the race, a humble part of the proceeds also goes to the building fund for a statue of Butterbean in the town rectangle. After all these years, we’ve raised enough to build both of his legs.
Contact Clet Litter at firstname.lastname@example.org.