FUNNY OUTDOOR STORIES
By Steven E Stillwell
HAVE YOU HEARD THE OLD SAYING; THE TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION? This happened to me back in 1986 when I lived in Southwest Missouri. One day I was piddling around in the backyard, and I saw a two-headed lizard. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I knew if I could catch him, someone would want this mystical looking reptile. Visions of carnivals and freak-shows flashed though my mind. THIS WILL FETCH A HEFTY PRICE I THOUGHT.
I couldn’t fake him out, because when I tried to distract him with one hand, the other head saw what I was doing. I ended up running around in circles until he gave me the slip. I said to myself, “Ain’t no one gonna believe this.”
If you spend enough time in the outdoors, I can guarantee that you’re going to see some amazing things, and some of them will be utterly unbelievable! 20 years ago, I was bow hunting in Wisconsin, and I decided to use a fawn bleat call to lure any does that were in the immediate area within range. Up until that point, the woods were virtually quiet, except for a few birds. After a couple of light puffs on my call, I could hear something that sounded like a stampede of animals coming in my direction. I was using a self-climbing tree-stand, so I was safely perched about 25feet in the air. Whatever it was, I could tell by their steady cadence, that they were very interested in the noise they’d just heard. When the phantoms came into view, it was an entire pack of coyotes, totaling seven. I sat motionless, as they started circling my stand. I was high enough in the air that they couldn’t pick up my scent. The rubber boots I was wearing worked, because they crossed the trail I’d used earlier, and they didn’t spook. With all of those eyes, ears and noses darting around, I don’t know how I managed to do it, but I stood up without any of these cagey canines seeing me!
Finally, the moment of truth presented itself, as I guesstimated the range to be approximately 40 yards. I thought to myself, Ain’t no one gonna believe this! When I came to full-draw, I was laughing so hard that it affected my concentration. This distance was within the limitations of my comfort zone, so I decided to take the shot. When I released, the Rocky Mountain, broad-head cut hair, it passed right underneath the song-dog’s belly. With a resounding yip, he looked like a cartoon character with springs on his legs, as he leaped vertically into the air. IT WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I’D SEEN IN MY LIFE. When he hit the ground, his legs were churning, and the pack took off in the direction they came from. Immediately, I grabbed my game call, and started bleating again. To my surprise, they came back, but this time they stayed about 75 yards away. After a few minutes, the gig was up, and their natural instincts kicked in. The leader gave a bark, and they retreated deeper into the woods, and out of sight.
If you’re interested in survival and other outdoor topics, I invite you to join our Facebook page, OUACHITA BUSHCRAFT AND SURVIVAL. Do you like podcast shows; then you can find us on the OUACHITA PODCASTS where you’ll also find other interesting, and extremely entertaining shows.