Hogspore News: Stars and Stripes Forever

By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson    

Hogspore had a good turnout for the Memorial Day parade Monday. Veterans from all the services rode onboard floats pulled by jeeps. Most of the older veterans were sporting their best overalls, mainly since they couldn’t fit into their old uniforms. The High School Band of Alloys did a fine job and when the parade ended, the band favored us with the Stars and Stripes Forever. The substitute drum major was confused and made them keep playing it over and over. He finally stopped the music after he realized that “Forever” was just part of the title. Next school year, his nickname will probably be Dumb Major. It was a great day and right properly humbling.

     National Doughnut Day is this Friday. Controversy is a brewing over a local auto mechanic entering his entry in the best doughnut contest. A lotta folks think Arnie is not gonna win cause he uses a grease gun in his recipe. His slogan is, “Lube stead of Lard.” There’s a few of us that figure he still might have a chance. For the last year, he’s come out and been identifying as a pastry chef.

     Mayor Ringer is gonna be the judge. The rules state that each contestant has to enter a dozen doughnuts, cause the Honorable Deighed Ringer likes to do a thorough job of judging.

     The new motto for Abbot Nutrition, (baby formula), is “Out of the Mouths of Babes.”

     Here’s a little something on proper etiquette when referring to an orchestra leader. Calling an accordion player Maestro is probably sarcastic.

     Mumford Pickens has some advice for girls and women. “Don’t bring a boyfriend to meet your dad if your beau is wearing an electronic ankle monitor.”

   This column is dedicated to the memory of Frank Mazariegos, 29 December 1947 – 27 June 1967.

     Contact at Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com. You know you wanna.

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