Hogspore News

Bus tour from the past 

By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson

Old Man Grimely was in the barbershop reminiscing over a 1974 song, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.” He said, “The Steely Dan’s drummer’s grandfather took an AAA bus tour to the Grand Canyon. An incident there so impressed the old gentleman that he related the story to everybody when he came back home. He said, ‘When we got to the Grand Canyon, we strolled to the edge and started with the Ooohs and the Aahhhs, clicking pictures til we were out of film. Another older couple, husband in a wheelchair, was snapping shots, when the wife casually rolled her spouse’s wheelchair off into nature’s divorce court. 

The last picture she shot, for life insurance claim purposes, was of her husband whitewater wheel-chairing down the Colorado River. You couldn’t see his face, but his wife thought he was smiling.

The new widow met a man on the return bus ride and then married him. They lived a long, happy life, but he would never go on a bus tour with her.’”

Tony, the barber interrupted, “What about the Steely Dan song?”

“What song?”

The whole barbershop sounded off together, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number!”

Old Man Grimely said, “Yeah, let me go on. The drummer’s grandfather told the band the story and was bragging how great AAA was. He bought a gift membership for his grandson. He handed the AAA card to his grandson and warned him not to lose that number. The band heard it, and it got thrown in a song.”

Tony said, “So, you’re saying that the song was about an AAA membership?”

“Yep. That’s it.”

Tony asked, “So, was the drummer’s name Rikki?”

Grimely answered, “No, I think his name was Jim Gordon.”

Tony asked, “Well, where did the name Rikki come from?”

Grimely said, “I have no idea.”

Sunday, Preacher summed up the sermon, “Even the heathen sinners are hoping the Rapture will happen soon, cause it’ll mean less traffic on the roads.”

Widow Fenster had her annual medical exam. She said, “I was in Doc Spicer’s office complaining over aches and pains and health problems. Doc commented, ‘You’re getting to the point where things are gonna keep breaking.’ So, I slapped him, but he just laughed, ‘That didn’t hurt.’ I tried to slap him again, but my slapping hand was now broken.”

Mumford Pickens says, “I don’t like coffee. It’s not my cup of tea.”

Contact at Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com. You know you wanna.

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